


Your Mess Is Mine

by EternalRedWolfe



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Cordelia Chase Family, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:22:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25265305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalRedWolfe/pseuds/EternalRedWolfe
Summary: Giles and Cordelia run into each other in Sunnydale after the events of A PARISIAN HOLIDAY and pick up where they left off.
Relationships: Cordelia Chase/Rupert Giles
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Horsin' Around

**Author's Note:**

> *Title is inspired by Vance Joy's "Mess Is Mine."
> 
> You're the reason that I feel so strong  
> The reason that I'm hanging on  
> You know you gave me all the time  
> Or did I give enough of mine?
> 
> *This is a follow on from the Fic A Parisian Holiday. It's not necessary to read to it before you read this one.
> 
> *Just a little background on my thought process re: Cordelia; Cordelia always read as older to me and at times felt out of place. That being said, I did love her interactions with the Scoobies and her relationships with them BX (Before Xander). So I aged her up a year. She graduated a year earlier in this. She's 18 at the time of these fics.
> 
> *This is my entry for Summer of Giles 2020.
> 
> *Enjoy

"Hi." 

His head popped up from the change he was counting in his hand, scanning the close-by tables instead for the familiar voice. She smiled as he found her and he smiled back, not sure of the proper etiquette when it came to bumping into the American Princess he had a fling with recently. He spoke to the barista, handing her his money and she nodded. He made his way over to Cordelia's table. She hadn't changed much since he had last seen her.

As he stood in line to board the plane, he'd thrown a quick glance back her way. He wasn't sure why. Their week together had been a nice distraction but as soon as the plane had taken off he was back in Watcher-librarian mode, wondering where he could look for Buffy, hoping Willow and Xander had been alright holding the fort for the week.

He caught sight of her standing at a newspaper stand, flipping through the pages of some magazine and he smiled.

It had been a lovely week.

He looked at Cordelia trying to find some change in her as she tossed a blueberry from the muffin she was eating into her mouth. "Cat got your tongue?" she asked, relishing his obvious discomfort.

"No. You were just the last person I expected to find here."

Cordelia scanned the Espresso Pump. "I mean, Starbucks is pretty busy on a Saturday. I wanted to avoid the queues."

"I mean, here. In Sunnydale."

Eyebrow cocked, she smirked. "Really, the last person? You expected to see the Queen of England before me?" She sipped her iced tea.

Giles pushed his hands into his pockets. She was succeeding in flustering him. He cleared his throat. "I thought you were living in LA now."

"I am but I have family in town to spend the weekend with. Keanu and Coco."

Giles brows furrowed. He didn't know Cordelia's parents well but it was hard not to know of Charles Chase, the wealthiest man in Sunnydale. "Your parents?"

"God, no. My pets. Please. The last time I spent a prolonged period of time with either of my parents was when my mother was giving birth to me." The barista walked over with Giles' order. He thanked her. "Let me guess. You were trying to figure out what the Hellmouth was doing this time and you didn't notice you were running out of tea."

Cordelia laughed as blush crept up Giles' neck. He looked away, clearing his throat. "I didn't know you had pets."

Cordelia's teasing laugh lightened to a loving beam. She nodded. "Keanu and Coco," she repeated. Her smile faded. "I was supposed to take Keanu out this afternoon but that doesn't look like it's happening."

"Why not?"

"My grandmother's stupid car broke down. My mom spent 100k on it last year. Seriously, I think we should sue."

Before he could register the offer, it was out there. "I can give you a lift, if you're stuck?" Cordelia frowned at the British-ism. "Um. In my car."

"Oh." Cordelia looked down the street to Giles' old Citreon and cringed. She glanced at her watch and quickly shot down the offer. "I've seen your car. No thanks."

"It's does the job," he defended, glancing towards where he parked the little green Citroen.

"At a snail's pace." Cordelia checked herself. "Thanks but I'm heading out of town. It's too far."

"Back to LA?"

"No. It's just outside of Sunnydale, by the college. Baker's?"

Giles shook his head. "I've never heard of it." 

"It's a... It's like a half hour drive outside of town. Which, for your car, probably translates to half a day."

"Let's go."

Cordelia was going to feign politeness to decline but she had been looking forward to this for the last two weeks. She followed him to his car and slid in as he held the door open for her. 

* * *

They were on a long stretch of road, Cordelia occasionally calling out directions. Giles made a turn. "Just keep on this road and I'll tell you when to turn." She jerkily rolled down her window.

"Telling me where we're going might help."

"I did tell you. Baker's. You don't know it." 

Giles conceded this fact. "Why are your pets in Sunnydale? Why not take them to LA with you?"

"It's easier. I'm back and forth, helping out my grandparents. Besides, for all it's Hellmouthyness, I'm still a Sunnydale gal." Cordelia slipped the sunglasses from the top of her head down over her eyes. "You can pull in here."

Giles pulled onto the road she indicated and pulled in. "Is that it?" Giles squinted at the cluster of buildings in the distance.

"Yep. Thanks for the ride, I'll make my way back." Cordelia undid her seatbelt and made to open her door.

"Get back in, I'll drive you down."

Cordelia glanced down the road. "You really don't--" He cut her off with a look. Cordelia rolled her eyes and swept her bangs out of her face. "If you know about this you're just going to tease me."

"You didn't mind it before," he mumbled.

She knew their tryst would come up at some point but she was impressed that Giles was the first to call back to it. She smiled as she pulled her leg back into the car and sat back into the car seat. "Ok. Keep going."

* * *

Before Giles stopped the car, Cordelia's shoes had hit the gravel and she had taken off to one of the buildings. 

Giles turned off the car, locked up and followed behind. He heard her cooing before he rounded the corner. "Hello my handsome, handsome guy."

He turned the corner and found himself at the entrance of a stable. 6 stalls lined either side. Cordelia was in the third one down on the right.

"I've missed you." Her hand was in patting the nose of the bay coloured horse in the stall, her other one wrapped in it's mane. "This is Keanu."

"He's incredible."

"I know," she replied dreamily, staring at the light brown and gold Palomino, her smile at maximum wattage.

Giles stood at the stall entrance, not wanting to interrupt the moment. He slipped his hands into his pockets and watched.

"Miss Chase." Giles turned his torso to face the man who had walked in. 

"Hey, Mr. Baker."

"Taking him out today?"

"Mmmmmm, yes." The owner disappeared. Cordelia turned her attention to Giles. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Dragging you all the way out here. I'm going to be a while. Head back. I'll make my own way." Cordelia grabbed a brush and began running it through Keanu's coat.

"I'll wait. I don't mind. If I had known this was here I'd have come out sooner." He gestured at the horse. "May I?"

Cordelia nodded. "You ride?" 

Giles picked an apple from the bucket nearby and offered it to Keanu. The horse brayed and accepted. Giles patted his face. "My mother's family used to breed horses since.... At least when my grandfather was a child. They even sold to the Royal family a few times. There was some training requirements in the council but it was mostly overlooked. I haven't ridden since I've been to Sunnydale."

The idea popped into her head as Mr. Baker returned. "Thanks. Oh, can you saddle up another guy for my friend? He's a bit of a novice."

"Sure thing. I'll get Buck set up. He's pretty tame."

Cordelia smiled.

"Um, probably best not to. I'd keep you back. I'll wait here, take a look around the grounds."

"I'll teach you. Come with me."

* * *

It took him a while to get into a rhythm with Buck but, after seeing Cordelia gracefully and singlehandedly mount Keanu, he vowed not to make a fool of himself. And so far he was doing ok.

"Finally." Cordelia let out a laugh.

"What?"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to relax."

"I told you: it's been a while. How long have you been riding for?"

"Since I was a kid. I used to take lessons but I was never very good. I had a really bad accident with one. Anyway, I lost a dance competition when I was 13: my Dad wanted me to swap out dancing for horses."

"Did you?"

"Nope. He bought me Keanu and I fell in love. Came out here whenever I didn't have dance classes or recitals. Keanu and Coco are the two men I've ever really loved."

"Is Coco your horse too?" He matched Cordelia's steady speed as she led him down a green path.

"No. Coco's my golden lab. I got him two years ago."

"I didn't have you as an animal lover."

"I don't. At least I don't like other people's pets."

Giles let out a chuckle. "That doesn't surprise me. But why would you be embarrassed to have me know about this?"

Cordelia shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it shows I have a heart and I'm not the cruel bitch everyone thinks I am."

"I haven't thought of you like that in a long time. You've proven many times that you care." Cordelia went silent so Giles opted for a change in subject. "There's a new Slayer."

"Really?"

"Mmm, Faith. She arrived a few days ago. She's spirited."

"I guess it makes sense. Buffy died, Kendra showed up. Kendra died, new Slayer."

"I supposed. I guess I expected that, when Kendra died, with Buffy alive, the line would revert back to her."

"So what else has been happening in the land of the Sunnydale High School Library?"

"Buffy came back a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh? Where was she hiding?"

"L.A."

Cordelia slowed Keanu back, allowing Giles to catch up with her. "Huh, small world."

* * *

Cordelia drew circles in the arm rest of the car, her head resting against the window, as the sun started setting.

"Thanks for today."

"You're welcome."

She lolled her head toward him and smiled. "I had fun."

"So did I. Strangely." He took the turn off and the town's streetlights started coming into view. "Do you want me to drop you back to the car or back home?"

"Your place."

* * *

He had argued but still he drove her to his apartment and kissed her, undressed her, led her upstairs. He hesitated as she lay in the bed under him. It took him a few minutes to push away the memories and ghosts but she distracted him and it became as if they had never left their Paris bed.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Did you learn nothing from Paris?" She turned her head to face Giles. "I'm not a "wham bam thank you ma'am" kind of gal. You can't jut lie their when you're finished. Entertain me." Giles rolled his eyes but moved his arm from under his head to onto Cordelia's pillow. She nestled into him, pushed her head into his chest, his fingers twining into her hair, his other arm snaking around her waist.

She groaned as his lips pressed into the top of her head. "Have I not entertained you enough already?"

She was pleased that her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her, that in the Parisian air, the summer heat and the foggy veil of the migraines she had been having, she hadn't misrembered him on nights when no one else could bring her the satisfaction he did, not even herself. His hands pressed lightly against her until they found her spots, his lips more passionate, his body so much better than she would have anticipated considering his age and affinity for tweed.

He pulled his lips away from her, resting his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling away completely. "This can't keep happening. We agreed: it ended in Paris." He watched as his hand moved to hers, closing on her palms, her fingers closing on his.

"I know. It really should stop."

He laughed as she pushed closer to his side.

Suddenly she sat up. "Look. Nothing serious. We both need to be distracted every once in a while. Why not distract each other? And then when it stops being fun, when we want to stop, we stop. No strings." He considered her words, her hand still in hers. "You've never had no strings before?"

Distracted he answered, "No, I have." Cordelia's eyes widened in surprise. Giles stumbled over his response to regain some of his tweed-librarian demeanor. "A long time ago... And... I was young." Cordelia let out a laugh and Giles smiled. He kissed her palm. "It doesn't always work out like that. No one getting hurt."

"All we need right now - both of us - is just fun. All I want is fun. And.. Maybe that's what you want right now too."

"Alright." He shifted in the bed and wrapped his arms around her again. "You must promise me. If anything changes..."

She kissed him. "Deal."

They slept and talked and dozed until the sky lightened outside.

"What time do Vampires call it off for the night?" she asked sleepily.

"Round about now. Why?" he mumbled.

She began untangling herself from the sheets and from him. "I have to go."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Do you want breakfast?"

She smiled as she dressed and gave him one last kiss. "No strings. No breakfast." And before he could retaliate, she was gone.


	2. Graveyard Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giles and Cordelia go on a sort of date, that doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post Homecoming.

"So, what are you going to say?"

"Hm?"

Cordelia swung the stick she had picked up like a baton. She looked over at Giles who was glancing from a book to the side of a mausoleum and back. She prodded him in his side with the stick. "Just, out of curiosity, if you're band of merry do-gooders shows up and sees you with me at this hour on a Sunday night, what're the script? Just so we don't have one of those awkward moments where we both say something different and then they know something's up."

"Um, you're helping me with this."

"Hey. Pay some attention to me. I'm hightailing it out of here tomorrow and heading straight to an audition. I'm only staying the extra night since our usual second night got cut short by homecoming. I mean, as sweet as it was and all that you chaperoned it just to see me."

Giles kissed her, then quickly, she was hitting the ground, her shoulder smacking against the grass. She got to her feet while Giles struggled with the vampire on top of him. She grabbed the stick and thrust it into the vamp. Dust fell on Giles.

"Oh my god."

"Are you alright?"

"I staked a vamp! Giles. I staked my first vamp." Cordelia jumped in the air.

* * *

Cordelia listened to Giles on the phone downstairs, wishing Buffy a good night and then climbing the stairs. "Are you sure you're alright?" His eyes drifted to where she had an icepack pressed against her shoulder.

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Yeah. Are _you_ ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I shouldn't have let you come out with me tonight."

"And you're in charge of what I do since when?"

"You could have been seriously hurt."

"And if I stayed here, I would be bored and I would have missed out on my first dusting. What's going on?" Cordelia stared at him, waiting for an answer that didn't come. "Fine. Well, if you're not going to tell me, you can at least kiss me better."

Giles leaned in before he pulled back, his eyes wide, something occurring to him. "Did I tell you how beautiful you looked last night?" He had known she would be presenting the homecoming award, and knew it would be in classic Cordelia fashion, but he hadn't expected his breath to catch in his throat when she walked in to The Bronze in a beautiful green dress.

"You did. But not as often as you should have. You can make up for that too." Cordelia's hand wrapped around Giles' shoulder as she puled him in for a kiss.


	3. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The effects of the Band Candy begin to wear off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Band Candy.

"I don't need a bloody babysitter." Buffy followed him down the steps to his apartment. "Go on, get an early night."

"Not until I know you're not going to cause any more trouble, young man." He didn't bother pulling out his keys: he hadn't brought them with him. He pushed open the door and quickly pulled it shut, smirking. Only one person would own the clear bag that was resting against the staircase.

He turned back to Buffy, blinking once, twice. A third time. "I'...m not going to do anything." He screwed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Are you ok?"

He smiled. "Yes. I, uh... I rather forgot my glasses. I think the chocolate's finally wearing off." He let his lips bend into a sheepish smile, showing, what he hoped was enough embarrassment. "The place is a mess. I'm going to clean up a little and just, uh, curl up with a cup of tea and wait for the rest of it to pass."

"Ok. But Giles if I find out you caused any more havoc I will kill you."

"Understood."

Buffy stared at him intently. She finally shrugged and threw him a 'see you tomorrow.' He inwardly jumped with glee, punching the air that her slayer senses seemed to be failing her.

He eased the door open and watched the body bent over the end table, cleaning up the mess he had left. "Hi."

"This place is a mess." 

He inched towards he. "You don't need to clean up. We could make it messier."

"What did you get up to? Where did you get all this stuff?" She gestured to the bags of green drugs, her back still to him. Giles dropped his arms and narrowed his eyes. He moved over to her, grabbed her by the elbow and turned her to him gently. Her red rimmed eyes stared up at him. "Are you wearing eyeliner?" Cordelia asked.

"That's besides the point." The trouble-making alter ego was slowly ebbing away. "What's wrong?"

"God! You smell of smoke. This whole apartment stinks."

"You've been crying."

"I got something in my eye." She turned back away from him and picked something up. The chocolate.

He grabbed her hand in one of his, took the chocolate in the other hand and walked over to the kitchen counter. "You don't want to eat that. This is not good. This chocolate is very very bad."

"Hey! Look, I'm having a really bad day and if I want to eat a bar of chocolate I'm going to damn well eat a bar of chocolate."

He took two glasses from a stand, opened a bottle of whiskey and poured it into the two glasses. "Fine. But trust me: this..." He handed her one glass. "... Is much better for you than that chocolate bar.

She sniffed and leaned against his reading table. She picked up the bar that rested there. "What about this one?"

He snatched it from her and tossed it in the bin. "Really not good for you."

She looked at the glass of whiskey, shrugged and drained the contents. He watched her face as he swapped his full glass for her empty one. With his back to her as he got another glass for himself, she watched him, knowing something was wrong. He wouldn't be so calm giving her alcohol so easily, she thought, remembering his minor freak-out in Paris when she had casually been drinking. She thought about the first night they slept together, how tense he had been when she came back to bed with two glasses of wine. She closed her eyes, thinking about that night, sitting on the bed next to him, her head resting against his chest, his lips against her head, waiting for the sun to rise. She could see it now, as if she was back there.

Music filled the room. She felt his hand graze her cheek and shivered. "Tell me what's wrong." He was close enough that his tone was only slightly higher than a whisper.

"Stuff."

"What stuff?"

She sat up, leaning into him. "My grandfather was admitted to hospital the day before yesterday."

"You mentioned he was sick in Paris? Is it serious?"

"The doctor's think it's something linked to... Alzheimer's. They've run tests. They're inconclusive. My parent's are in New York. My grandmother is 78. She can't deal with this on her own."

He kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep."

"I want to stay up with you a bit."

"Well, I need to get some sleep too."

* * *

He didn't.

He felt the magic ebb out of his body. He vowed t destroy Ethan someday. Cordelia stirred next to him. He shifted in the bed, onto his side, focusing on Cordelia's hair pooling onto her cream coloured jumper. She moved, turning to face him and opened her eyes, smiling. "Morning."

He felt joy. Followed quickly by horror. What had happened last night? The chocolate, the weed, the alcohol, the... Cop car.

She wound her arm around his neck. "What's wrong?"

He took her arm from him and pulled away, getting out of bed. "I didn't realise how late it was. I need to get ready for work."

"It's 6.30."

"I have to shower and get in early so... There should be some cereal, if you want to stay."

"Gee, thanks."

He glanced back at her. "Go back to sleep." He leaned over the bed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.


	4. Just Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after 3x06 Revelations

He had enough clothes to last him a few days. He wasn't sure where he was going to go, if he was even going to leave Sunnydale. He just needed to go somewhere Buffy wouldn't find him. He checked his watch as he headed for the door. It was early. Buffy would soon realise that he wasn't at the hospital anymore and head straight for here. He'd left the note on his desk telling her that he'd be back for school on Monday but in the meantime, not to try and contact him, that he needed time. That--

As he turned the corner up the steps to the road another obstacle faced him.

"Cordelia."

"Took you long enough. I've been out here for hours."

"Now's not a good time." She side-stepped, blocking his way up the stairs, arms folded. "Cordelia. Please. I really need to go."

"Not until you tell me why you've been avoiding me."

"I can't. Not now."

"So you admit you're avoiding me?" Giles remained silent. "Yes, Giles, now. What happened the other week?" 

"Please. Please can we talk another day?"

"Oh. Oh. God, I'm so _stu_ pid! I can't believe I didn't see it. I mean, it's happened enough. Y'know, if things got too heavy for you the other week, you should have just said. That was the deal. I'm a big girl, Giles, I'll bounce back."

"Cordelia this isn-" Giles bit back the cliché. "It's not what you think. Seeing you that night was... Enlightening. I did something extraordinarily stupid. Something I regret. And it's best you don't know. But I have to go."

She blocked his path. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. What did you do?"

"Cordelia."

She didn't budge. "What did you do?"

He couldn't bear to look at her. "I slept with someone else on a police car."

Cordelia smiled. "You've been avoiding me for the last week and a half because of _that!?_ "

"Ye--" He frowned, processing what she said. "What? You're not mad."

"I'm pissed."

"About the... Sex."

"Oh." She thought about it. "No. Why would I be?"

"Because - you and I have this... Understanding....?"

"Was it good?" He looked at her, surprised by how unreadable her face was. He had no idea how to answer that. "I'll take that lack of denial as a yes." She took a deep breath. "Ok. You had sex, on a cop car, -"

"Twice."

"You're not helping yourself. You were cursed. And when you saw me again-" She smiled and placed her hand on her chest. "- you regained your senses. We spent the better part of a week together in Paris, 3 nights of which ended with us in bed. And we've been seeing each other for the last 5 weeks-"

"How are you not furious with me?"

Cordelia dropped her hand and began picking at the corner of her thumb nail. "It's not like we ever said we were... Exclusive or anything. I mean, I've been seeing guys in L.A. If the bar wasn't so high I might have gone home with a few of them. Do not let that get to your head. But since seeing rebel you being so nice to me, lately, I've been thinking maybe... What's happened before now? None of that has to matter. I don't know: maybe we should reconsider things. Like, maybe from here on out, it's you and me. No LA guys, or random Band Candy women. Just us. Otherwise maybe we should just call it a day if we can't see other people without feeling guilty."

"All the reasons not to still exist." And Giles was used to letting his head overrule his heart.

Until she leaned into him and slipped her hand into his. "Yeah, but Rebel Giles wouldn't care about reasons not to."

Every instinct he had told him to back away but he found himself nodding and, smiling, for the first time in days, he put his arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and, God, he missed kissing her. Then he immediately pushed her away. "I'm sorry, I really need to go." He got passed her and continued up the steps.

"Why?" She followed him. "And what happened to your head?" 

His fingers grazed the protrusion on his head. He had hoped she had been so focused on her objective, she wouldn't notice. "Look, a lot has happened this week and I need a couple of days to not... I just need to get away from a bit. And I need you to leave too."

"Why?"

"That's going to be a frequent question from here on out, won't it?"

"When you're not telling me stuff, yeah?" She grabbed the cuff of his jacket. "Come on. I know a place.

* * *

"So?" Giles stood in the middle of the room and took it in. Cordelia stood at the open door of the apartment. She walked over to his side slowly and pointed to her left. "The kitchen." She moved her hand a few degrees. "A balcony." She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "And the, uh, bedroom's down there."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Now, I drove us up here and you asked me every question under the sun while I still remain completely unaware. Why were you trying to hightail it out of Sunnydale?"

"I needed to not see Buffy for a few days."

"You're her Watcher, that's a pretty big two fingers to your job."

"Angel's alive."

"Oh." She loosened her grip on his neck. 

"And I didn't want you there either."

"Well, I'm not. There. And neither are you. So I think we should have some dinner and go to the bedroom and pretend we're still in Paris. A very LA Paris."

"It'll be different this time." Giles leaned down and kissed her and through the kiss, he could feel her smile, and he felt a little bit better.


End file.
